- Nov 11, 2021
- 1 minute
How Does Deflection Hurt Your Relationships?
There are many strategies we use to cope with the shame we feel.
One of those strategies is deflection.
Deflection is used by people who are so uncomfortable with the idea of them having done something “bad, wrong, harmful or hurtful”, that the moment you are trying to make them aware of the impact of their actions, they instantly become defensive and start blaming you
People who deflect, reject accepting any responsibility for the impact of their actions on others.
The less self-aware we are, the more we tend to deflect.
The more attached to our ego we are, the more we tend to deflect.
The more shame we hold in ourselves, the more we tend to deflect.
We can feel compassion and understanding for people who deflect, as deflection is typical of people who felt a lot of shame as children and nobody was there for them to help them integrate their shame.
Yet, if all your attempts for a constructive dialogue are rejected, you need to keep these people at a healthy distance; otherwise your mental health is at risk.